Ex- England skipper Lewis Moody has announced he has been identified with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet deal with the full consequences of the muscle-deteriorating condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was part of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and won multiple English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast 14 days after finding out he has the illness.
"There's something about looking the future in the face and hesitating to fully comprehend that at the minute," he stated.
"This doesn't mean I don't understand where it's going. We understand that. But there is absolutely a unwillingness to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, talking together with his wife Annie, states instead he feels "peaceful" as he concentrates on his present health, his family and making preparations for when the disease progresses.
"Perhaps that's shock or possibly I process things differently, and when I have the details, it's more manageable," he stated further.
Initial Signs
Moody found out he had MND after observing some lack of strength in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After physical therapy failed to improve the issue, a number of scans indicated nerve cells in his neurological system had been affected by MND.
"You receive this medical finding of MND and we're rightly very moved about it, but it's quite odd because I feel like I'm perfectly healthy," he continued.
"I don't experience unwell. I don't feel poorly
"The signs I have are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the hand area and the upper arm.
"I continue to be able to performing anything and everything. And with luck that will carry on for as long as is feasible."
Illness Progression
MND can advance quickly.
As per the organization MND Association, the condition claims a 33% of people within a twelve months and above half within 730 days of diagnosis, as eating and breathing become increasingly challenging.
Treatment can only slow decline.
"It's never me that I experience sorrow for," commented an emotional Moody.
"It's about the grief around having to break the news to my mum - as an only child - and the ramifications that has for her."
Household Consequences
Conversing from the residence with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by sentiment when he discussed telling his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the heartbreaking news, commenting: "This was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two excellent boys and that was quite devastating," Moody stated.
"We sat on the couch in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog leapt across and commenced licking the tears off our faces, which was quite funny."
Moody said the focus was remaining in the moment.
"There is no cure and that is why you have to be extremely intensely focused on just embracing and savoring all aspects now," he commented.
"According to Annie, we've been truly fortunate that the primary decision I made when I concluded playing was to allocate as much period with the kids as feasible. We can't reclaim those times back."
Sportsman Link
Professional competitors are excessively affected by MND, with studies suggesting the incidence of the condition is up to sixfold greater than in the wider community.
It is thought that by reducing the air available and causing damage to neural pathways, consistent, intense training can trigger the condition in those inherently vulnerable.
Rugby Playing Days
Moody, who won 71 England appearances and toured with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was called 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in acknowledgment of his fearless, persistent approach to the game.
He played through a fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once caused a training-ground confrontation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he left a tackle pad and began participating in tackles.
After appearing as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the back of the set piece in the crucial passage of play, creating a base for playmaker Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to score the match-winning drop kick.
Support Community
Moody has previously told Johnson, who skippered England to that championship, and a few other former colleagues about his condition, but the remaining individuals will be learning his news with the broader public.
"There shall be a time when we'll need to rely on their backing but, at the present, just having that type of affection and acceptance that people are present is what's important," he said.
"The sport is such a great group.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even when it concluded now, I've appreciated all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with unbelievable people.
"Being able to consider your passion your vocation, it's one of the greatest blessings.
"To have done it for so considerable a duration with the teams that I did it with was a joy. And I know they will want to help in whatever way they can and I look forward to having those talks."
